Aug. 29, 2022

Ep.6 Maintaining Friendships

If you are at a point in life where you want to improve your personal and professional relationships and be more present in your social interactions, then this episode is for you! Maintaining Friendships is real talk about sustaining friendships in your ...


If you are at a point in life where you want to improve your personal and professional relationships and be more present in your social interactions, then this episode is for you! Maintaining Friendships is real talk about sustaining friendships in your adult life. Rey shares her real-life experiences on how she is able to uphold deep, authentic, and healthy friendships. She also shares key facts about the difficulties in maintaining friendships and why they are worth such a high cost. Finally, Rey wraps up the episode with 3 actionable steps for you to successfully maintain your friendships:

  1. Adult friendships are costly but worth the price. 
  2. Friendships are a two-way street 
  3. Keep an open mind as your friendships evolve 

Sources:

[1] How Friendships Change Over Time - The Atlantic

[2] Ask an Expert – The Benefits of Adult Friendships | USU

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Transcript

Intro

Hey guys, welcome back to Growth on the Daily, the personal development podcast for athletes. My name is Rey. I'm a former competitive hockey player, passionate about self-growth and I'm here to support you on becoming the best version of you. We got a lot in store for this week's episode, but before we dive in, I just want to remind you guys to follow us on Instagram @growthonthedaily to stay up to date with the show. Now let's dive right in! This week's episode is titled Maintaining Friendships. In terms of Specialties for Success, we're focused on the social category. And that means we're talking about social interactions and communication. So if you're at a point in life where you want to improve your friendships and be more present in your social interactions, then this episode is for you. Let's hear from the experts.

No Cap, All Facts

In my research this week, I really wanted to understand how adults and their relationships actually change over time. I found the perfect article, summarizing this from The Atlantic, and it starts off perfectly by saying, "we NEED to catch up soon" and then nothing happens. And I think that sums up perfectly adult friendships, because life sort of just happens and you guys kind of lose your sync and you're unable to catch up like you used to. And the reason that this happens is actually further explained in this article where they state that "in the hierarchy of relationships, friendships are at the bottom. Romantic partners, parents, children, all of these come first. Friendships are unique relationships because unlike other voluntary bonds such as marriages and romantic relationships, They lack a formal structure." And so that's why we find ourselves out of sync when new life commitments come about. Because unfortunately those take precedence over maintaining those friendships, but we really feel it because we miss our friends and we want it to be like the good old days.

So knowing that it's going to take so much effort to bring friends together in their adult lives, that brings upon the question, are adult friendships even worth salvaging? Well, in another article that highlights these benefits of adult friendships, I was able to discover the following. They stated that "the benefits of friendship increase your sense of belonging and purpose and contribute to improve self-worth and confidence. They help you cope with traumatic events in your life and increase happiness while reducing stress." They even further explain that "in a study published by the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, researchers noted, incorporating social support and connections is critical for overall health and for healthy habits to be sustainable." So I don't know about you guys, but I'm only hearing great reasons for why we should maintain our adult friendships. Think about it as athletes, if you're an athlete becoming good friends with another athlete is extremely beneficial to you. Not only will they keep you dedicated, active, and healthy and provide you with personal support that you got in every friend, but they're really just making you a better person overall, not simply as an athlete, but as a person. Now that we've heard from the experts, let's hear my take on how to maintain adult friendships.

Rey's Remedy

The first step in my book is make the effort to communicate. You have to understand that friendships are a two-way street. If you haven't heard from your friends in a while, and you want to know what's going on with them, or you are expecting them to check in with you, you have a phone. Dial their number, DM them, text them, whatever floats your boat. Just communicate with them because once that line of communication is established, then you can communicate your needs and you can establish, Hey, let's connect. Let's get together. It's time to catch up. But without that communication, that's never going to happen. The second thing is make the time to listen in order to feel heard. And the reason I say that just goes right back to my first point, that friendships are a two way street. You have to understand that since friendships go both ways, you can't just be expected to dump everything on your friend and then not be there for them.

A good friendship works both ways. You have to be an active listener. You have to be in their corner for them to be in yours. The second that's gone, they're gone. So you have to understand that there is a constant need for that to be maintained. And the third thing I would say is, honestly, as you get older, you have to be flexible. You have to recognize that we're all at different life stages. Relationships will change. Some will end, new ones will begin. Overall, they all evolve. So you just have to ride the wave and focus on being the best friend that you can be by being an active communicator and making the time to listen. Alright guys, you know, it's time for a quick shoutout.

Hold the Mic

For this week's hold the mic. I thought I'd take a moment to shoutout my friends and my day ones who have continued to support me, laugh and cry with me and give me a lifetime of wonderful memories. I appreciate you. I love you all. And I miss you a ton. Now for all of you listening, take a moment and pause this episode and send a text or DM to one of your friends and tell them what their friendship means to you. Then come back in time for meaningful mentions. Time to wrap this up. Meaningful Mentions For this week's Meaningful Mentions. I have three key takeaways for you. The first is understanding that adult friendships are costly, but worth the price. Those that recognize this will find they have deep and authentic friendships. The second piece of advice for you is understanding that friendships are a two-way street. I've said that countless times in this episode, and it's for good reason, it is a constant exchange of giving and receiving. Without that the friendship doesn't exist. And lastly, keep an open mind as your friendships evolve. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with you if you haven't heard from your friend in a while, most of the time, it's simply their new commitments that arise in your friends' lives.

Quality Quote

This week, guys, I wanted to end off with a motivational quote to help remind you the value of having great friendships. This is an anonymous quote that states that "good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they're always there." And I think that's a really beautiful quote. Really makes me feel warm inside. Cause I appreciate so many of my friends. They're always there for me when I need them. And I'm always there for them when they need me. We might not talk every day. We might not see each other every week, but we know that we can always count on each other.

Outro

All right, guys. I just want to thank you for taking the time to tune into this episode and remind you that I'm so proud of you for committing to learn, grow, and thrive. Send this episode to a friend, family member or teammate, you know the drill, we want to grow this community. So let's spread that word. And of course, guys check out our website, www.growthonthedaily.com for more info on the podcast. And leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on our website. Thanks guys. I'll see you next week.