Aug. 8, 2022

Ep.3 Rising From Failure

If you are at a point in life where it feels like you are at rock bottom and you’re just trying to climb out, then this episode is for you! Rising From Failure is real talk about enduring failure in life and how to overcome it. Rey shares her real-life e...


If you are at a point in life where it feels like you are at rock bottom and you’re just trying to climb out, then this episode is for you! Rising From Failure is real talk about enduring failure in life and how to overcome it. Rey shares her real-life experiences with failure, and how she managed them and overcame them. She also shares key upsides of enduring failure. Finally, Rey wraps up the episode with 3 actionable steps for you to rise from failure:

  1.  Be open to everything failure has to open
  2.  Embrace your state of failure 
  3. Let failure fuel you

Sources:

[1] Smallstarter

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Transcript

Intro

Hey guys, welcome back to the Growth on the Daily podcast, the personal development podcast for athletes. My name is Rey. I'm a former competitive hockey player and passionate about self-growth, and I'm here today to support you on your journey to becoming the best version of you. For those of you who are new to the show thank you so much for tuning in. For those of you who are back for another episode thank you so much for your continuous support. As a reminder, you can follow us @growthonthedaily on Instagram to stay up to date with everything about the show.

Let's head into the episode.

This week's episode is titled Rising From Failure. In terms of Specialties for Success we're going to be talking about emotional growth and how that ties into business and financial growth and other areas as well. So here we're focused on how mastering emotions interacts with rising from failure. So if you're at a point in life where it just feels like you're a rock bottom and you're just trying to climb out of that funk, then this episode is for you. So with that, let's hear from the experts.

No Cap, All Facts

In my research this week, I took a look at the upside to failure because we all encounter failure at some point in our lives and it's important to understand what the glass half full is to offer from failure. So I took a look at an article from Small Starter to learn three upsides from failure.

The first is that failure is proof of action. If we take some wisdom from the great one, Wayne Gretzky, who said " you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take", we will completely understand why trying is proof of action despite failure. Because it's a step closer to meeting that goal despite missing the target. You will get nowhere, your change of state will not occur if you do not try.

The second upside to failure is that failure is simply a state. It is not your final outcome, unless you let it be. You have multiple attempts to reach your goal. That is up to you. Life is not a video game. You don't have those three lives and then it's game over. You can try and try and try again just as you get closer and closer and closer to reaching your goal. So that should be a little bit of motivation to get back up and get back out there.

A third upside to failure is that there's a lesson in every failure. And that's really a hard truth because you're dealing with a loss here. You're dealing with an L. You didn't get where you want to be and you desire to be, and it's upsetting and it's defeating. So it's difficult to also look at that as a lesson. But that's really the best thing we can get from failure. It's learning what not to do so we can improve our next attempt and hopefully get closer to attaining that desired outcome.

To sum up three upsides to failure are that trying despite failure is proof of action. Failure is a state, not an end outcome, unless we let it be. And there's always a lesson in failure.

So with that, let's hear your my take.

Rey's Remedy

I want to share a few of my tips to rising from failure. The first might sound a bit unconventional, but it works for me. So I hope this works for you. The first piece of advice I have is throw yourself a pity party. Give yourself a certain timeline, whether that's a night, whether that's a weekend, whether that's a week to do whatever you want and just grovel in the sadness, the disappointment. Whatever you're feeling, let yourself feel that. The reason I say that is because not only is it your only opportunity to do that, because once you start taking those next steps to rising from failure, there's no room for that pity party. So you have to let yourself feel that failure, but it's also because you need those lows to balance out those highs . You can't be 110% all the time. Sometimes you're going to get knocked down and that's okay. But that's not what matters, what matters is that you're getting back up. So throw yourself that pity party with that timeline.

The second thing I'd recommend is changing your perspective. And what I mean by that is actually looking at what does rock bottom actually mean? We have this misconception that every single time we deal with failure, it's the worst thing in the world. And there's no way to get past it. And in the moment it truly does feel like that. But if we compare that to what our actual rock bottom scenario would look like, that might help us realize that you know what we're doing a lot better than we really think we are or we feel we are. And so how I'm able to change my perspective is I'm able to look around and look at what I'm grateful for. Look at what I have to look forward to. I have people I love in my life. I have friends, I have family. I am an able person. I can take care of myself. I can pay my bills. I can do the things that bring me joy. Those are the things that I'm grateful for. And remembering that I still had that means I haven't reached that rock bottom yet. So long as you have something to be grateful for, you're on your way to greatness. And if you don't have that, then what are your steps? Your steps is to discover where gratitude can form. And that's by surrounding yourself with people through socialization, doing things that you love, discovering yourself. Those are just some ways to name a few.

A third thing that I recommend is do something different to change your physical state and your state of mind. So you've thrown yourself that pity party, you've attempted to change your perspective by just having a reality check and saying, okay, you know what, this sucks, but it's not the end of the world. But the third thing is actually doing the things that bring you joy in life, whether that's simply to distract yourself or just to move on. So for example, say you're dealing with a failed relationship. Hang out with your friends, hang out with your family, go to your favorite restaurant. Do the things that you enjoy to remind yourself that your happiness resides from you and not from other people. Maybe you have a failed business and maybe you just need to reignite that passion by starting a new one. Maybe you failed a class in school or you just aren't doing too well. And maybe that means you should seek out support from a tutor or from your peers so that you can do better on your next attempt. Whatever it is, find that joy.

And the final recommendation I have is looking back at your previous experiences, the ones that you really thought were truly "rock bottom". I want you to think about where you were, what that felt like, how you overcame that, and where you ended up. The reason I say that is because it reminds you that you can get through what you're dealing with currently. To provide some relate-ability to you guys, I'm going to share with you a few examples of some failures I've dealt with and where I ended up after the fact.

The first relates to my athletic career. It was in my last season of competitive hockey and midget AA. That was in 2017-18. And I didn't make the hockey team that I thought it would make. I was cut from a team that I thought I was shoe-in. I had a great season prior. I knew the coaches. I knew the players. And not only did I get cut, but I also decided not to go to my Rihanna concert that was for my birthday, and instead showed up to the last tryout to make sure that everything was cool with getting on the team. And I got cut. And on top of that to make matters worse, I was the only player from the previous team who was cut. So I felt awful. I was devastated mentally, and physically all over the place because I just didn't know how to feel. I didn't know what was going on. I felt it was unfair and it was just not a good time. But then I was able to find another hockey team and I had the best season of my career. I couldn't have ended off my hockey career better than that last season. And that all came because I was cut from that team. So when I really look back and I reflect on those experiences, it just tells me that I was not meant to be on that team because I was meant to do something greater somewhere else.

And that's just proof that everything happens for a reason. And those of you who know me know that I live by those words, because it's truly what I believe to be the way life works. You are handed some fortunate experiences, you are handed some unfortunate experiences. But all of those lead you to some sort of decision-making, that leads to some sort of action, that leads to some sort of path. And so everything happens for a reason.

Another example of a failure that I overcame was when I was graduating from Bill Crothers in 2018, and I was selecting my university for the next year. And I had it in my head that I was going to go to Deshautels business school at McGill, because I thought I wanted to be in Montreal. And I thought that's where I wanted to go and I didn't get in. And that forced me to actually look at my other options and picture myself at those schools. Doing that allowed me to actually make the choice that was better for me than what I initially thought. I realized I actually wanted to go to UofT. I wanted to go to Rotman. I wanted to be in the city of Toronto and I would have ended up at a school that that I didn't really actually want to be at. So that was my lesson learned.

A third and final instance was right before the pandemic, where I was in the running for an internship at MLSE. And unfortunately I had to withdraw my application because I wanted to pursue an international exchange experience, but then COVID hit and I was left with neither the international exchange nor the internship and that left me in a place during the pandemic that was a little bit scary, but it forced me to think about what my next career move was going to be and it allowed me to explore management consulting. I was able to then prepare myself for recruiting and fortunately land my dream position after graduation. So everything happens for a reason, guys.

Those are three instances of many where I really thought it was rock bottom for me. And I felt devastated and awful, and I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to dwell on that pain. And I had to rise above it to get where I am today. So I just wanted to mention those things to just inspire you guys that you guys will get through anything you're going through. It just takes time and cultivating the right mindset by mastering your emotions.

That's enough talking for me guys. So it's time for a quick shout out.

Hold the Mic

I'm sure you know guys on Saturday, August 6th, Canada Games had begun. I want to shout out Team Ontario and wish all the athletes the best of luck in Niagara this year. I'll be following along the games and cheering you all on. Best of luck guys!

With that guys, let's wrap up this episode.

Meaningful Mentions

For this week's meaningful mentions. I have three takeaways for you. The first is be open to everything failure has to offer. So think about those learning outcomes. What can you learn from your experience from your failure? Where did you go wrong? So you can make new steps that are in the right direction of your desired outcome next time. The second is embrace your state of failure. Which means, throw yourself that pity party gave yourself a timeline, let yourself feel and embrace the experience and cope. And then when you're ready, make those next steps so that you can rise from failure. And the third is let failure fuel you. Remind yourself that you're simply in a current state, that's not your end outcome. And you just have to keep putting each foot forward until you've climbed out of it and reached your desired destination.

Quality Quote

For this week's motivational quote. I picked a quote from best-selling author, John Green, who stated "what is the point of being alive, if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?" The reason I included that quote this week is I wanted to inspire you to keep going and to remind you guys of what you're after. You're there to do something great. Remember on this show, what are we talking about? Learn, Grow, and Thrive. And that's what you have to do with failure. You got to learn from your failure, grow from your mistakes that lead you to thriving in your future state.

Outro

All right, guys, that wraps up this episode. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to the Growth on the Daily podcast. I applaud you guys for committing to growth and to learning, growing, and thriving. Thank you guys so much for your support. This show can't grow without you. So please send this episode to a friend, a family member, a teammate. Anybody that you know, who's looking to improve themselves and checkout www.growthonthedaily.com for more info. Thanks guys, and see you next week!